Waking up to an old dog snoring comfortably provides my daily meditation. His deep sleep resembles the purest peace one can witness while living. Most humans are not pure enough for sleep like his to come to them. The fantasy most people live in their daily lives rarely has anything to do with their inner reality. God created me to burst their bubbles.
Analytical Balance is the name of my business. I am an un-licensed counselor of sorts. I make a living offering my logical advice to stranger’s problems. In fact, people pay me $85 an hour to pee in their Cheerios. If I was willing to go to school for a specialized certificate, I would be able to charge $100 an hour or more. I would also have more rules to follow that would keep me from helping people in the logical way missing from their lives.
I started my business with a blogging column. People would send me their problems and I would reply to their issues with the things they needed to consider for moving on. The blog worked fine until one prick said that my replies to people were only possible because I was able to hide behind a computer. I have a divorce in my history that would prove that is not true, but his ignorant comment encouraged me to save enough money to begin renting a small office space to counsel people in person. I still run my blog because not everyone lives in Colorado who need my services. However, now people have the option of paying for my opinion in person if that is what is more comfortable to them. Often people regret the choice of meeting in person after our session is over.
The people who pay for my opinion are clients and not patients since I am not a doctor of anything. People have come to me with a variety of issues because people are about more than relationships and divorces when they think counseling is needed. I am a professional with a master’s degree, but it has nothing to do with Psychology. I simply counsel them with my opinions born of common sense — a surprisingly uncommon trait for people to have.
A new client is coming to see me today. His name is Ted and he had an accident one year ago that caused an injury to his lower back. He works in the construction business, and like many male-centered environments, it’s not the place you go expecting any kind of sympathy. When he was released by the doctor to return to normal duty…